The Concept of                 

            We 

                                                In Modern Day   

                               Society 

                                                       Aka Products vs. You Being The Product

How did we get here?

I witnessed some beautiful Black females walking by the other day.  So beautiful, in fact, I thought—in respect to my preponderance of such beauty—that I just had to acknowledge their presence.  Mind you—I wasn’t trying to rap to them or anything; I was just being "friendly."
  

Anyway, I spoke to both of them—knowing full well that my facial expression was expressing a “non-forward” approach—but they just walked on by; rather smugly.  Ironically enough, just a few feet and seconds away, were these same females—being accosted by some guerrilla-like Latin-lovers; Of course, now they were looking back at me, as though—I should come to their aid!  I did. . .  But clearly, they didn’t deserve it.  And yes, I have a love for my folks, in spite of how they act sometimes; So yes, I went to help them—in spite of themselves.

Looking at this from another angle: Two women were driving two vehicles—full of females—taking some pretty dangerous curbs, in the pouring rain!  After negotiating those treacherous curbs, we wound up being to the same mall; where we chatted at a local diner.  Now my queen was there, alright; but she was playing the back—generally taking-stock of these dramatic women.  Anyway, both  of these females get out—wearing colorful halter tops—passing out flyers to a topless affair; on two different dates.  These flyers were very conservative; glossy, 4x5, of high printed quality, written in very sophisticated language; highly suggestive, even slightly provocative—yet revealing so very little: so I asked both females which show would they be on--even pointed to both flyers--but couldn't get a straight answer.  Right then and there—I knew I wasn’t the type they were after; Not that they had a problem with what they doing to get money—they just didn’t want to be judged by squares. . .  They didn’t care whether it was right or wrong—they just cared who knew.

But this is the essence of what I want to talk to you about: The issues impeding our rise as a people, striving to fulfill our destiny.  This is an analytical view of our contradictory, counterproductive, counterintuitive ways.  Not to be negative—just a constructive critical analysis of the activity, so we might gain insight.  This might seem like a minor social interaction, but on a larger scale—it is indicative of a larger social picture: A microcosm of a macrocosm; to quote a phrase or borrow a small page or two. . .

We all know everybody needs to feel wanted and needed; We all would to feel like we’re special to someone; important.  Somewhat valued, as a person.  It’s about being worthy of something or valuable to someone.  The scenario is always an introspective evaluation: “How much am I worth; and to who?”  The issue is about self esteem and pride.  So why, after working so hard to gain recognition—and achieve it—why would you  “shoot yourself in the foot?”

This is not just a personal question; It is a social issue and a social question—representing our dilemma as a people here in the wilderness of North America.  Those girls knew my salutation and subsequent conversation was a harmless social consideration; yet they went out of their way to snub me—as if, clowning me was a form of “picking themselves up by putting others down”—adrenaline to a dying heart; an artificial way to make themselves feel important [a.k.a. “A Tart (or so-called diva) Who Wants To Be Queen”].

Listening to conversations on the train, on my way to work, I witnessed a woman who regularly attended parties—just to thwart requests to dance with her; then discuss the refusals on Monday, with her so-called “friends.”  These girls probably thought they were hot, and therefore significantly important; but that particular type of importance is a false sense of pride—built on exclusiveness, rather than usefulness.  These females drew a false sense of importance based upon how much the next man sweated.  The funny thing about that, however, no matter how good they look—or how talented they are [or were]—the compliments and recognitions are never enough to feed their hungry hearts; and in spite of any efforts on your part to remedy the situation, they will almost certainly punish you for it.

But why would they do that? 

Simply because they don’t see themselves!  They are convinced they don’t have what they want—they really don’t know what they want ultimately—yet they constantly want someone to prove to them how significant they are to that person.  But rest assured, whenever this person does attempt to satisfy herself—she'll never be satisfied with what you offer.  That’s right, what I'm saying is, that so called, Full of herself babe, suffers from low self-esteem.   They’re insatiable.  Otherwise, why would she keep burning her bridges—in spite of the offers of the world?  That’s a person that doesn’t recognize others, or what it takes to be content.  Why [Isn’t it ironic that the word for the state of peace and happiness (content), spelt the same as the word for the main ingredients (table of contents)]?

How can I say that? 

People who have “it,” don’t need confirmation—they know; they are sure.  Secure.  Ones who don’t know their own true value—will connive, and contrive ways; create mazes and puzzles to make others prove various things to them; but despite all efforts, they’re never convinced: That’s real dysfunctional; That’s a dangerous and fatal attraction.  It is composed of dynamic opposites—you care and they don’t because they’re incapable of doing so [at the stage they’re in].  Hungry hearts can hold no love—and you look like a long lost meal!  The relationship is destructive and demeaning—but it doesn’t look like that at first; You are in love with  a  narcissist: These people are conjuring a false sense of importance by trying it out of the populace [aka The Diana Ross', "Don't you just love me," technique]; but realize, in their minds, all roads and conversations begin and end with them—so be careful to watch out for their weapons of mass destruction!  "He or her without knowledge of who they are, cannot build; only destroy and take may other lives with them." 

Personally, I think the word “Self Esteem” is too abstract.  It doesn’t deliver the real meaning: If we replace “Esteem,” with its true meaning, “worth,” we get more insight into the process; “Self worth.”  So then, low self esteem means, “Low self-worth” or a feeling of “worthlessness,” which is what Manic Depression and Depression is all about.   Depression comes in many flavors; from severe, bipolar, anxiety, and many, many, many others—but they’re all depressed because of what they think they’re worth versus what society, or the outworld signals, as their worth (to them).  They say, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” and earlier I said, “these people do not see themselves.”  Yes, that’s right, they don’t.  The picture is distorted, and to them, their acts are what they think should be done [in most cases]. That’s why they act the way they do, and that’s why you refer to it as insane or crazy—its’ twisted.

The Microcosm of the Macrocosm 

Now I’m not here to talk about the fickleness  of man/woman relationships—that could take a very long time—but I am here to talk about social relationships and nationalism; and the two have their interrelationships.  As I said, in my previous article, “Getting Our Minds Right,” we are a people living under the jurisdiction of another people and their culture—trying to be socially accepted—when all our chronicles and experiences indicates, this is not prudent.  So, in essence, we are talking about a relationship: Blacks living in a White world; It’s benefits and detriments.  I see White America’s general behavior towards Blacks no different, than the two girls mentioned early in this article—who walked on by; rather smugly, or the woman who regularly attended parties, just to thwart offers to dance; Same difference.  Both are about self esteem and peer group pressure.  Both are about your sense of self worth or importance versus how that society views you, or how society exploits you and you have nothing to show for it.  

Compare that sentiment, to the words from poet, Jean Claude T, in a poem called, “The Bicentennial Poet,” spoken from the eyes of a slave:

                     “And in this year of 1776; How much am I worth?"

                                      "And to who—and to who?”  

Imagine the feeling of coming out of slavery, where you worked and didn’t get paid, and then, when President Lincoln free our folks from slavery, but didn’t give us a “penny” for thanks, sustenance, nor supply any jobs or assistance—government or otherwise; I’m sure a feeling of profound hopelessness has to strike home: aka, “How much am I worth, and to who!”  I guess, that’s why President Lincoln’s portrait is on every penny; because that certainly was a low-down gesture, in exchange for such a personal sacrifice, on the part of our people [our enslaved and free men gave their lives on behalf of a better future for us as a people].

I said earlier, that the “Full of herself Babe” has esteem issues—and such are things in America.  Behavior like this, is so lop-sided, dysfunctional, and sick; It’s extremely irrational and egotistical: Nothing anyone can do for her, will ever be good enough—she will never be satisfied!  That’s not knowing your self-worth; that’s being driven crazy!  Its way over the top!  Exactly opposite, to the person depicted in  this James Taylor’s tune, Don’t Let Me Be Lonely Tonight:

                        “Do me wrong, do me right; Go on and tell me lies, 

                        But hold—hold me tight.  

                        Save your goodbyes for the morning light; 

                        But don’t let me be lonely tonight.”  

Whether you are too demanding or throwing yourself away, you don’t have a proper barometer on your self-esteem.  Prince once said concerning this; “His mother was never satisfied” [in Dove’s Cry]; Or compare that to Chuck D’s lyrics in, Night Of The Living Baseheads: 

      “Base! How low can you go? Death-Row?  What a brother knows…”

Who else would do that drug, and become wraith-like;  especially after seeing how crack-cocaine ravished our communities, with such little resistance.  The act of supplying it to our communities, is a systematic approach, based upon some American’s assessment and resentment of us [like "How dare you complain, I saved you from the jungles"].  Exactly. . . Those who don’t have a high opinion of themselves are easy prey!  Most people do drugs, because they want to feel good about themselves, which implies self-worth issues.  On a bigger scale, we—as a people—have turned so quickly away from the devastation; by turning a blind eye to it (denial), or blaming those who fell a victim!  That's like acting like all the difficulties facing the Black communities—all have simple solutions. . . This type of behavior shows either a certain lack of sophistication, denial, or a certain inability to vanquish an age old nemesis plaguing Blacks living in America: Degradation, at the hands of slavery.

When one is degraded, one is treated with disrespect, disregarded and discarded; in other words, insulted at every turn.  Sure, we exert ourselves and show our excellence; but it is usually more of a “look at me goddamit” attitude [like proving yourself TO somebody]; which usually is met with disbelief: Sort of like; "these females just walked on by rather smugly," aka, "I’m better than you." Or ignored, like some rich Whites behave, after you speak to them; or ignored like some Blacks, who have acquired a little bit more money than you—and now think they’re better than you.  When that paradigm happens—it lowers the quality or character of the person slighted—almost to nothing; to the rank of a servant or one "under one’s thumb."  It's like the perpetrator is picking themselves up, by putting you down!  Charles Barkley said of this: "[These people] aren't needed by me, because I'm rich; but I'm Black and poor Blacks are my people too—[and] when you're in a position of power, and [you think like that] you can take jobs and economic opportunities away from people, that's crosses the line."  

Degradation in America, has played a major role in the relinquishing of all the progress Blacks made during the Segregative era, by receiving a whole lot of promises during Civil Right II, that the government would not sustain: Political gains, token hiring, affirmative action (promoting better lies and excuses to tell Blacks), Educational grants (but very little business training and minority business loans), lots of Black sell-outs for individual opportunities; but very little group achievements for the Black populace.  In every major city; “people moving out/people moving in: Why?  Because of the color of the skin!” so said The Temptations, in a tune called Ball of Confusion. Many Whites didn’t want to live near Blacks, so discrimination in the housing field, or Red lining, created poor pockets, bad neighborhoods, and ghettos.  Individual store owners in Black neighborhoods get replaced by massive chain stores—which set up shops offering much lower prices in White lower and middle class areas, creating “wall to wall people” for people in Black neighborhoods; forcing Blacks spend their income in White neighborhoods—thus giving a better tax revenue and subsequently better government services to those communities.

This is so phenotypical for so-called Integrationist’s Era: Token representation of Black opportunities in White society; while affluent Blacks like Bill Cosby, criticize the rest of our communities—blaming the rest of us who didn’t get the same opportunity as he (aka “The Victim”), or not taking advantage of a similar type of   offer.  Everybody knows, that this is a competition, where the seemingly more palpable Blacks (with little to no Black conscious), get most of the opportunities!  The Integration Era was just a “mere re-shuffling of the cards,” but the house still rules and decides everything!  

Now think about it: No group in the world, is ever going to fight hard to rise to prominence--and then split the spoils evenly between itself and the vanquished!  That just won't happen: The best scenario we will ever see, is a demonstrative few; and that few will have to do a lot to get that privilege.  So you can keep looking at individuals like Cosby, Winfrey, Denzel and Jordan—thinking you can make it too, if you want to. . .  We got less for our integrative efforts during the Civil Right struggles, in the attempt to establish something for ourselves, as a people in America—than the South did when it rejoined the Union after the Civil War!  And to the promises, given by the assassinated President Kennedy before he was shot, I evoke the words of the beloved jazz standard, The Night Has A Thousand Eyes: 

                      “Don’t whisper things to me you don’t mean; 

                      For words down deep inside can be seen by the night: 

                      The night has a thousand eyes, and it knows a truthful 

                      heart from one that lies. . .”

A lack of appreciation of our heritage can be the only reason why there’s so little remnants  left of Black hotels in Black parts, or pockets, within metropolitan cities:  Most of our people did for themselves, because they COULDN’T live in areas next to Whites;  Because they COULDN’T frequent the same hotels as Whites; Because they COULDN’T eat in integrated restaurants, simply because they were segregated: The reason we know this to be the case, is because when the "token" opportunity to do otherwise was presented, most of us clamored for an opening "made for a handful”. . . That right there [clamoring for crumbs] is indicative of a Self-worth issue.  I say that because we seemed to have given up everything we created for ourselves, for a diminutive opportunity to be in the same areas with Whites; not recognizing (or maybe not appreciating) what we were leaving behind. 

We wanted, very badly, to distance ourselves from Segregation’s hellish mistreatment—as much as we could; As though discrimination, bigotry, and coercion in America was some hellish nightmare that we could somehow to wake up from.  We thought, if we could stop the madness—we promised God—we would never look back upon it!  We would never (or rarely) speak upon it.  We would “play it off,” as if it didn’t exist [But it really did]!  As a matter of fact, there are some elder Blacks who still cannot watch "Roots"—because the recollection is too painful.  Some of us blame our own people, for our predicament; seemingly, in a desperate attempt to rationalize why those of European descent [aka, the ones who colonized America] would inflict this type of cruelty on our people: This type of behavior is psychologically phenotypical  of a parent-child relationship [White society or government=parent; Black=child]; wherein the child blames himself for all problems in which his parents [one Black parent; one white] might have.

The truth of the matter is, the lesser behavior displayed by some of our “not-as-evolved" people (as the Cosby-ites believes)—has nothing to do with the wealthy colonist’s general outlook on Blacks; The most affluential Whites had those opinion of Blacks—long before we were free to have distinguishable outward expressions on him.  Just ask the soon to be ex-Clipper owner, Donald Sterling.  I am happy that Bill Cosby worked hard, and got many of his dreams to come true, but affluential Whites are not going to offer that same opportunity to the entire Black population in America—even if we did everything Bill Cosby did; to the letter!  That was a one time opportunity, offered to a certain type of Blackman—one who displays a certain non-threatening behavior.  If this land was established by Whites, but offered equal opportunity for those who contributed in the makings of this country—the colonist would have treated the Native Americans differently; for helping him to survive America’s harsh winters.  The European colonists should have felt indebted to the natives for their humanistic concerns—but they didn't.  They should have included those who wanted to be part of what they were establishing—but they didn't (as most immigrants can attest as well).

Though ethnocentricity [that is, evaluating other peoples/cultures according to your own “seemingly superior” cultural standards] is a natural proclivity between all ethnic groups on the planet earth; the European has taken his ethnocentricity thing way beyond that line.  The American elite has even over-ridden many of his Saxon egalitarian traits, phenotypical in earlier White Anglo-Saxon societies in England and Europe, to establish this Rat Race and squalor here in America. 

 The Colonial American Attitude towards Blacks

The behavior displayed by the European colonist in America is more in keeping with a conqueror and a brute; drawing on Darwin’s theories of Evolution (particularly Survival Of The Fittest theory), for rationalization and justification concerning the slaughter and degradation of the Native American [even though the colonist seems to forget the Native’s humanitarian gesture towards helping him survive the winter].  And in the case of Black people; the colonists considers us slave-captives; a menial servant class of weak people—and therefore inferior to his “master race.”  Through these scenarios, one can definitely see where this sort of behavior (no matter how politically correct it may be disguised for appearance sake), may come off as “some-what demonic” to the peoples who have not pledged alliance to their system or do so as a political formality.  

What surprises me, is how quick our people are to forget about the nightmarish treatment that the Colonist inflicted upon them (like bigoted jeering done during the Jim Crow/Segregative Era) for the promise of equity during the Civil Rights Era.  The concept is badly flawed—like the Rodney King appeal; and yet we seem willing to give up all our advances in cultural development—for a promise by unreliable people.

This sort of “trade-off” is what happened to the Negro League [baseball team] and all its affiliated Black Enterprises: The MLB took a handful of players from the Negro League, like Jackie Robinson and Satchel Paige—and the remaining part of the Negro League slowly disappeared.  It would appear that most of our ancestors no longer wanted to go to the games; since they had the opportunity to sit in seats, next to Whites, in their “great stadiums.”  The affiliated businesses to the Negro League—like concession stands, restaurants, baseball card manufacturers—were sacrificed for the advancement of just a handful of players.  

Could it be, our efforts to establish ourselves were inferior to their’s, or could it be that we were brainwashed into believing that; or could it be that we have been over-anxious about the possibility of being part of their society—like "one ol' big happy family"—believing that there's a possibility that discrimination could finally be over? 

First of all, our dignity, as a people, has been greatly tarnished by  the degradation inflicted upon our peoples through the act of enslavement; a process of humiliation, shame, and debasement which follows us all the way from the first man and woman off of the slave ship unto present day.  To simply ignore this knowledge or avoid these facts (no matter how painful it might be to endure the awareness of such things), is ludicrous: That’s what has people believing that maybe “the grass is greener on the other side,” or it's our fault—“God is punishing us”—its because they don't know the truth.  It is this kind of attitude—which has us being impatient with our own progress; After all, we lost our culture through enslavement: Reconstruction for us was learning right on the spot!  Given all that we went through, I’d say, what was achieved after slavery, was phenomenal—given what resources we had.  But our people then, knew that they were recapturing their culture, and it would be more helpful if Whites would tone down their hostility.  This way, Blacks could have protect their accomplishments, and improve upon those accomplishments. 

Our ancestors were dealing with a much more hostile environment, than we deal with today: Today, if you were buying your own product, employing your own people, generating an economy, while turning that earned money over within your own communities—enriching and develop your own areas; you would get a totally different level of respect from a capitalist society!  What good is a people who need others to assist them—within a capitalistic society?  Think about it: Jealous Whites destroyed Black accomplishments then—because the America had not established the same laws and attitudes that it has today.  America was very immature at that time.  Our accomplishments as a people are more secure in these times—but the attitudes our ancestors had—has changed in the Blackman and Blackwoman of today. . . 

We’re too busy trying to sell ourselves to someone else.  We are too busy trying to have others invest in us—far more sometimes—than we maybe willing to do for ourselves.  We are too busy trying to fit into their society, rather than establishing our own means to sustain ourselves.  You have to be worth something to yourself first.  We have to believe in ourselves, first!  This sets the tone for importance.  This is where your values originate.  This is where it starts.  Your own set of values; your own self worth.  Then you won’t settle for less than your own values.

That’s why—at least, when it comes to players, jocks, musicians, and artists—the most prudent act is to get an agent to represent you; that way you can make sure you get the fairest market value: A lot of times, talented people may not know what their talent is really worth.  The same thing applies to the Blackman and Blackwoman in America: He never learnt his true value in America; She never learnt her true value in America—because they had another people judging them.  They don't know their own worth.  And it’s hard when you are from the people who were forced to work for free, and now find yourself in a world where you need plenty of money to live; very hard indeed (I guess that’s why many descendants of the colonists are always trying to get Blacks to do something for free).  It becomes even harder, when the American media assassinates your heroes, and illuminate the flaws of our icons; as a means of belittling our people—but this is their arena.  We should expect it.  These are bigoted elements, within American society—operating as an influential faction of that society—trying to exert their dominance.  This is their colony.  This is where preparedness and belief in yourself plays its part.  The focus should be to be able to hold your own—when assist is not forthcoming.  In my view, groups like the NAACP, rely too much on outside, rather than self-help.

Contributing Factors

As I was growing up, I was taught a basic fundamental value; “Treat people like you’d want to be treated” [I guess this bars people with esteem issues—who should then treat people with respect to their station in life—relative to themselves].  What this says is, show proper consideration for your fellow man [or woman].  The world has become so polarized now.  It is a reflection of today’s American society and its’ morals; its’ values.  The issue I have with this is, it is White America’s morals and values which affects us by proxy—due to the cultural vacuum created by slavery—and I’m not sure if their values are right for our people and our offspring.

What do I mean by that?  What I mean is, we lost our indigenous values and traditions [as separate peoples], as an effect of institutionalized slavery, here in America.  The concept of We, is slowly dying out of Black society.  Slavery is a part of American business, that monumentally affected the lives of Blacks in America.  After no longer having our traditional methods of how to go about things (other than so-called African Retention), we analyzed and emulated parts of the people who colonized America—attempting to attain some semblance of culture.  But our youth are electing to strike it out on their own—with newly placed ideas that have no experience behind them.

Now in the past, Black people took more of a clinical approach to analyzing the ways of Whites; considering the White man's approach and possible variables—in juxtaposition to our own religious and personal experiences—before rendering our verdict.  That is because then, We were quite aware that America consisted of two worlds: White and non-White.  Today however, with the advent of “fake-freedoms,” “rugged-individualism,” and “personal-choice”—America’s lack of discretion is destroying us by proxy.  Too many Blacks today don’t understand; We are two different people, with two different values and destinies.

One could say Black culture in America, should be considered a reaction to or by-product of American politics, like Jazz and Blues; but Black culture in the 20’s, 30’s, was almost anthropological considerations done by Blacks: While today’s considerations seem more like indiscriminate imitates, due to assimilation, integration and amalgamation—with these things representing turning points in our cultural development.

The young of White America—then and now—made the issues just that more confusing for Blacks, as a people.  As White youth search for their own identity, they have blurred the lines even more; with their cavalier attitude concerning what others are doing.  Now our Black youth are following suit!  Man is a social creature.  Get away from that, and humanity becomes parasitical.  Cooperation furthers humanity; nothing else.  Their youth wanted what we had, we wanted what they had; but their parents were not going to relinquish control.  Everyone knows what happen in Liverpool, when records from Motown, Muddy Waters, Little Richard, Chuck Berry, Fats Domino, and Bo Diddley, met John, Paul, George and Ringo; But even the Beatles told you that money can’t buy you love.  

These young White artists [The Beatles and others] made millions covering those tunes, and the artist they admired [those Blacks above] made pennies on the same songs—because of the complexion of this nation, and those who control the industry,  this country, or those who have the disposable income to buy it.  We were Blacks, living in a White society—looking for opportunities in order to market TO them.  America offers opportunity but it is also capitalistic—so it exploits.  We are living within Western culture and its' society is not equal; nor is it trying to promote the entire group of Black people in America to another status or class, beyond the station given.  Quite the contrary, the impression most documentaries will give you, is that America saved the Blackman from a jungle life.  Anyone watching the "Muscle Shoals" documentary, may agree with most off the verbal image, but the visual image depicts the "Swampers" (all White band) as an unassisted creator of the soulful, funky, "Muscle Shoals" sound.  The Black Integrationists thought we could come together—collaborate and cooperate—but having the product, without the means of production, and economic base; makes us merely workers, trying to survive in someone else’s domain.

Old School vs. New School?

Or a group of people finding it hard to relate to each other?

Let’s just make it as plain as possible:  When I was a young man, my parents said to me, “Son, you’re going to have to be just about twice as good as they are to get hired.  You are going to others to get hired, if you are the same, why should they hire you overtop of their own?  There must be some advantage that Whites can obviously see, if you expect them to make that choice.”  If they want to know how things are on your side of the tracks, let them ask you—your swag is meaningless at best, and obnoxious at worst.  Muhammad Ali made huge purses, simply because White people were willing to pay large amounts to the person who would silence him!    To those types of Whites, you are the clown overtop of the targeted rain barrel at the carnivals!                                               

“You came to do a job for pay and that’s all!  Whenever you start making things difficult for them, or make it hard for them to understand you—they’ll fire you or make your life miserable!  They’ll tolerate attitude and sass from a woman, because she’s pretty and represent other possibilities—but you don’t wear a skirt; so keep it simple and straight to business!”

This was a speech I got when I was growing up.  My brothers and sisters in my family got the same rap.  As I started working and made relationships, most of my business partners told me that they received a similar type of spill.  As I asked questions to other Blacks in various places—l heard the same thing!  What I was witnessing was tradition; An oral tradition—passed on silently and maintained amongst those hip enough to receive it.  I was schooled.  But ever since this “Old-school/New-school schmaltz” occurred—folks are doing away with a lot of that.  And it’s gotten out of hand.  Ignoring folks who are older, and in a much better place to pass on their experience, is the way of today.  Someone who actually cares about you being successful—is being ignored;  how tragic!  Bottom line is, a lot of younger people are being blind-sided by America's double-standard concerning race—simply because they are oblivious to the rules of engagements.

Living In A World Without Love

I witnessed the divorce proceedings of a dear sister of mine; as my heart and considerations go all out for her—while obviously in pain—to rise above the adversity.  As it is traditional in her country, for families to stay together until the children grow up—this does nothing to alleviate the pain when one wants to continue but the other doesn’t.  To think of the personal sacrifice she made, for the sake of a bigger thing, like the relationship, bonds of matrimony, the family (children, family lines, etc.)—which all got forsaken for selfish motives is literally unconscionable.  Peace be upon you sister, you remain in my meditations for better rewards for your deeds.  To me, your are the epitome of what a virtuous woman should be!  Never forget: It is not what you gave, or give, it is who you give it to!  

Who today would be willing to make that type of sacrifice to further us as people?  Who today would give up a lot of your personal desires to further your children’s understanding of relationships?  This is precisely my point: Today, everyone’s out to get theirs!  Psychologists have got their hands full with modern parents and children; full of depressions and deep regrets.  I am endeared to her—not by blood or marriage—but from a common bond; and a certain understanding as a people.  Call it soul; call it humanity; call it love!  All I know is, I am built like that—and she is built like that!  We are remnants of a culture and a love of our people, gradually lost to today’s generation.

So what’s it all about, “Alfie?”  Today, the world rarely even hint on the existence of the word "love."  Today’s people just don't use it.  They don’t want to believe in it.  People work around it, make arrangements, and they feel some type of way from time to time, but it ain’t Love.   So in the short run, its about fulfilling your needs and limiting your liabilities—but in the long run, who's going to go for such a lop-sided arrangement? 

Years ago, many people spoke about a “Generation X.”  That concept seemed so absurd to me.  In order for a generation to wind up being lost, the group of parents that had those children, has to be willing to depart ways with them!  And why would that be—if they themselves were not too busy being all about themselves!  “Be careful to practice what you preach; because it is deeds, not words which most often reach the seeds.”  The so-called Generation X are those seeds who were incarnated from 1965-1980.  They are typified by the “what’s in it for me” attitudes, with a great deal of skepticism (as though the world owes them something), which accounts for the "something for nothing" posture.

But apples don’t fall too far from the tree. The "Me generation" were raised by large numbers of women, who no longer wanted to make the personal sacrifices that their mothers made; and large numbers of males who sharply criticized their many of their fathers for not being there; downing those who took to various forms of escapisms like alcohol, cocaine, heroin—and that new  addiction called “Free-basing” (an act done by a junkie-turned-chemist on some pre-historic “crack-cocaine’).  The parents of many of the Generation X’ers were selfish themselves!  A lot of the traditional sacrifices formerly made by adults in the past, originating from love and heritage—in the form of man/woman relationships—like nuclear or extended families, or a general love of Black people, were overshadowed by a “Diana Ross narcissism” and an American wantonness expression of  “Free-Love,”  expressed in Ross’ tunes like, “It's My Turn” and “I’m Coming Out.”

Though often sharping criticizing their parents, Generation X children were not exempt from the same hypocrisy; like being found often, 'glued' to the television set, their personal computers—and rocking out on the drug-like Atari 2600s; while consuming large portions of 'weed' or beer [bad tie-overs from the 1960s-1970s].  Most of the “Love Generation” influences, were being replaced by the “Do Me Baby” Generation [song done by Bell, Biv, DeVoe]—with the militants and nationalist influences of the 60s and 70s slowly fading away.  And traditional tools for social change—such as voting and belief in conscientious and conscious politicians—were merely non-existent to most of the youth.  They, in effect, were "tuned out"—demonstrated by the “Hip-hop purists,” who won’t even listen to the “Old-School Songs” (where most of the samples come from); much less respect what their parents were doing—because many of the customers who bought “crack” from these young drug dealers—were their parents age.

People today seem to converse for familiarity, and this familiarity serves as an ice breaker—to serve in time to re-visit at moments of mutual horny-ness.  It's all about arrangements and short term agreements with a person of today.  The reason for doing so is obvious: most do not have the skills, or capacity to entertain long term relationships.  Generally speaking, their ability to care along with their sensitivity to others is extremely short-sighted;  the person of today could not possibly anticipate what the needs of others may be.  That person is too busy making sure that he/or she is not being slighted on anything, personally, to be concern about others: Concern express Care; and care is a very important aspect of love.

The so called X Generation’s parents were the one’s who coined the phrase, basically.  My question is, “How does a generation of parents label their own children as lost?"  Sounds like abandonment to me. . .  Many mothers of their “parent generations” were not willing to fulfill the role, sacrifices, and obligations that their “motherhood station” requires—simply because they had plenty of their own ego-centered ideas to pursue or they didn’t find the role that rewarding or “pay-off” that fulfilling.  Ironically, it was members from this same “parent group,” that wounded up being the main clientele for members of the X Generation who sold crack!  Talk about intimacy issues:

                                       “I can’t understand, she let go of my hand

                                       and left me there facing the wall,

                                       I’d sure like to know, why did she go

                                       but I can’t get close to her at all.

                                       Well we kissed through the wild blazing

                                       Night-times, she said she would never 

                                       forget,

                                       By morning it’s clear—it’s like I ain’t here;

                                       She Acts Like We Never Had Met.”

                                          

                                                —“I Don’t Believe You (She Acts Like

                                                    We Never Had Met) by Bob Dylan

                            

True, a proper consideration of love starts with a healthy relationship with your own being, but narcissism and arrogance is not healthy expressions of, love of self.  That sort of self indulgence does not tend to consider others, the way one wants to be treated—nor does having children seem to fit into such plans; and reliance is very hard to come by these sort of standards. 

Obviously, there are “low self-worth” issues here: Parents who gave up on their children, and  children who lost proper respect for their parents [and the way they do things].  Some of these children are saying, “How can I believe in your philosophy, when it ends up in you doing crack to cope with life?  Obviously, your philosophy doesn’t work for you—so why would I think it would work for me?” 

More than likely, the children of these parent would feel abandoned, and feel they must fend for themselves—by any means necessary.  Their sense of right and wrong will be very, very different.  With so many mothers who feel it’s their turn—when’s the baby’s turn, is my concern:

                                      “Co-in-ci-dence! Boy, what a co-in-ci-dence!

                                      Everybody’s talking about Love, wherever I go 

                                      these days,

                                      I swear boy what a co-in-ci-dence that everybody

                                      finally wants to be known, to be coming on so 

                                      very groovy;

                                      All around my head I hear the music getting louder

                                      as the people are jumping,

                                      And a million “reefers burning” while the fuzz are

                                      all crying,

                                      Cause the world is through with lying, to all the 

                                      babies on the way boy, what a co-in-ci-dence!” 

                                                                 —“Coincidence” by Hugh Masekela

So then, low self esteem means, “Low self-worth” or a feeling of “worthlessness,” which is what Manic Depression and Depression is all about.  They will be sarcastic and cynical of everything.  They probably feel detached.  They certainly don’t believe in the sacrifices their parents made, or falling for that, “Love stuff.”  Fathers have been missing for quite some time, but motherless children have a hard time, when mothers don’t care (or have died).  Most can accept a no-good father, but without many an exception, the children of no-good mothers—go through quite a denial.  They defend that no good mother, and accept many of her teachings as their way of life; as the so-called 'gospel.'  In other words, If mother is selfish—most of the children will probably be—if not, it will be some variation on that theme [italics are mine].  It’s hard for these offspring to see that she can do any wrong.  So we can conclude, unequivocally; “A woman of without virtue, is the symbol of a society in decay!”  No wonder then, that there's so many thirty to forty year olds suffering from some form of depression!

But before leaving this area of this article, I would like to say here, if you have ever been in an intimate relationship—you know that confiding in each other can either bring out the closest bonds, or create a person which can ultimately get on your nerves; equipped with knowing which buttons to push—may even become an enemy.   Secondly, you don’t really know how “built” your parents are—for tolerating the nuances of each other or the idiosyncrasies each other has—over a long period of time; Nor would you, as the children—be privy to all the possible infidelities or indiscretions either one of them may have had over time: Nobody knows the inside of a relationship or breakup better than the two people involved; nor do they tell you everything—in an unbiased and candid manner; 

Bottom line: DON’T BE QUICK TO JUDGE WHO WAS WRONG, OR WHO’S FAULT IT WAS—OR WHY YOUR PARENTS AREN’T TOGETHER—ASSESS EACH BY HOW THEY PARTICIPATE IN YOUR LIFE, PERIOD; AND DON’T AIR THE “DIRTY LAUNDRY OF FAMILY” OUT IN PUBLIC.

What we are saying is; Since it is quite possible that the offspring from a dysfunctional relationship (like the one described here), may feel abandoned and somewhat jaded from these abnormal family dynamics; It shouldn't come as a surprise that he or she may behave somewhat overly cynical.  And since we usually learn proper social and intimate relationship dynamics from our family (nuclear as well as extended family versions)—our offspring are reflections of our example in family curriculum, as well as its dynamics.  In my view, the makings of the overall generation X paradigm is as such: Ego-centered parental decisions, creating poor group dynamics, refusing to endure the sacrifices necessary to keep the family together; culminating in dysfunctional and ultra cynical behaviors within the children.

The result is a “Every man fend for yourself” mentality or “I gotta get mine/you gotta get yours” mindset.  This is the very antithesis of WE, in modern day society—and abodes particularly unfavorable towards Black cohesiveness and Black family survival.  There are three ways I know you can get your way: (1) choose to do what's appropriate and negotiate/cooperate/reason with the opposition, (2) force your way regardless, and (3) don’t say anything about it and do what you want—without discussion.  The latter typifies how many so-called Generation X children interact with their parents.

Involvement   

High among the list of contributing factors has to be concern.  If you are not involved, dedicated, or committed, in the least little way—the motions you make are meaningless.  If you want to know the difference between Old School Rap and New School Rap: It is not skills; it is delivery.  Sure, the further you go in the Hip-hop chronicle, the more words and catchy phrases are used (and abused); yet the meaning gets lost.  No one has to tell you what the meaning of “The Message” by “The Furious Five” is.  Neither does one have to explain “Tearz,” or “Can It Be All So Simple,” by Rza & Wu Tang Clan; Not to mention, “My Philosophy,” by KRS-One—you can feel it!  Soul Music is notorious for its punch and involvement: Any one who hears Curtis Mayfield’s “Choice of Colors,” “Ain’t No Way,” by Aretha Franklin or “Say It Loud” and “I Don’t Want Nobody To Give Me Nothin,” by James Brown; know what I’m talking about.  You have to feel it in your heart and have a certain commitment to those sentimentalities, to give it your all—in that way.  “It has to move you,” like Isaac Hayes expresses in “Do Your Thing.”

My niece personally knew the members of Boys II Men.  They were her contemporaries.  They were the last Motown group, fashioned in the tradition of the Premier Falsetto/Do-Wop groups.  They were just that special.  Anyone who has heard, “On Bended Knee,” can attest to their skills.  However, last week, when I heard them covering some of the old Motown jewels—I realized, it wasn’t just generational styles which inhibited their execution—they were lacking in soul (as Rakim said).

When I speak to the young about society issues, most speak about individual needs, while expecting to continue to stay at home and contribute nothing.  They are not involved in local politics (for the most part) and most generally don't read the newspapers.  Today's youth regard community, federal, and local authorities as a " given."  Meaning: Something they rely on the background structure to always be there, whether they participate in it or not.  They believe their "environment backdrop" to be self—sustaining whether they play an active role in it, or not.  Some actually believe they are citizens—but they don't have to contribute; it will just always be there—regardless; it is not something that he or she has to contribute to, or something he or she will inherit someday.

This type of thinking is problematic for a Blackman because he is leaning on the same backdrop that the Native Americans, Frederick Douglass, Dr. Martin Luther King, and the Integrationists did (and we see where that's gotten them).  Today's youth generally do not involve themselves in the voting process, therefore they cannot change the political environment which hovers over them.  They depend on America's stable government.  Today's youth rely on equal rights for Blacks, as well as safeguard their best interests.  But very few youth are interested in politics and the local politicians controlling their areas; they do not represent their ideas or best interests in the outside world.  They are not interested in protests and fighting for their rights.  The young are mainly interested in cyberspace and video  games, Facebook, and owning smartphones.  Many of their friends are in cyberspace, along with them—they are letting the rest of the world go buy!  

But cyberspace is not a place.  Cyberspace has no countries—streets, or homes.  Legislation is being past, to rescind on many of the rights their ancestors fought and gave their lives for; to send us back to Jim Crow Law and Separate But Equal.  I can understand not believing in your parents so much—but how about your ancestors and the people you come from?  So, in essence—in the place where YOU live—someone else is controlling their community and destiny.  Think that that doesn't matter?  Ask Trayvon's 'peoples' about that.  When I go to the doctor, he is about thirty-four.  When I go to buy a car, the person selling it to me is about twenty-five to thirty-five.  Truth of the matter is, it is your time to shape the environment, be the parent your parents weren't—change these single parent trends and provide better for your offspring.  You are inheriting the chance to make it better.   

Ironic, that this ego-centered, cavalier attitude shows itself, in an age where the economy is in a depression but the rich are doing very little to encourage fluidity in the economy.  The bulk of financing local and federal government is now being passed on to the consumer—and the consumer is being crushed under the weight.  Individually we are being crushed, collectively nothing is being done about it because socially, it is difficult to get people together.  There is not a lot going into social relationships.  People actually believe that most things can be handled individually (as crazy as that may seem).  But it's hard to come together, with a "every man for himself" mentality.  The most common axiom I know is, "United we stand, divided we fall."

What is lost here, is the benefit of the ageless wisdom, some of your parents possess, as well as a knowledge of what come next!   What our middle age adults need to appreciate is, that unlike what they are experiencing—your parents followed the patterns set up by many, many decades of tradition, reinforced by old siblings.  Some of what is being exercised today is not even a decade old!  Every cipher bears its own justice, but the consequence of some of these new practices will not be realized—until your children are twenty or well after you have made the mistake to pursue such a path.  Many things your parents did, their parents did—and their great, great grandparents did.  The mistakes from such a tradition—would—in all possibility have been known and corrected by the time you got it.  When you got the tradition, you looked at it as though it was your parents way, and maybe you lost respect for them; but it maybe those things that helped us to survive through the "harsh winters in America."

Or maybe you inherited the lack of resolve that your mother and father had; in which case, you began to think individualistically; instead of collectively.  This presents a great problem.  Most of what we talked about in this discussion is what a number of people were doing to each and every individual.  It would take those individuals to get fed up—in order to come together to solve their problem by confronting your transgressors.  But with individual drives as a sole behavior, that's not likely to happen.  Our issue in America is that we confront a system being upheld by several people from different walks of life: Like LL Cool J said; "How are you going to go up against an army with a handgun?"

Too many of our youth are depending on other factors in society to remain stable, while they fight against the issues they don't like; but that's not the way change goes!  Like the Last Poets once said; "Speak not of revolution—unless you are ready to eat rats in order to survive."  Most of us are used to going to the supermarket to buy food, in order to survive.  Few of us know how to grow it, and if we were in the wilderness—most would not know how to find it or survive in the rural areas.  When war happens, all that ceases!  The "well-oiled machine" breaks down:  No more cooperation!  If you don't cooperate with "them," how can you expect "them" to cooperate with you.  Remember those girls? " Ironically enough, just a few feet and seconds away, were these same females, being accosted by some guerrilla-like Latin-lovers; Of course, now they were looking back at me, as though, I should come to their aid!"  A few minutes ago, this guy could even speak—now he wants me to tell him what time it is!  As "Mom Dukes" said, "My house, my rules!  If you don't like it, make other arrangements."  St. Luke 12:47: "And that servant which knew the his lord's will and prepared not himself, neither did according to his will, shall be beaten with many stripes."

Anyone can be a cynic, it's what you do with that cynicism—that makes all the difference in the world.  No, you don't blow up city hall—but you support, confide in, and collaborate with those advocated for the same common cause.  Yes, you use what you got until you get what you need: Yes, you transform it.  You work, buy from your brother—he takes that cash and buys what he needs from another brother, who saves up and makes a business to employ several brothers—but that takes more thought than just thinking about own concerns and interests. . .    

But how does these actions fit into a nationalistic setting?  The problem is, it doesn't.  Man is a social creature, but in the behavior here—as demonstrated, there is nothing there to support healthy social equality—on the contrary, it seems parasitical.  There's no WE in that.  Those who don't pay attention to what happens to them over the course of time, are doomed to re-live the tragedy of it—and this is what chronology represents; it is a chronicle of our lives!  It is a rather pessimistic view to believe that nothing is ever going to change, or that you are powerless to change things, so why waste time studying what happened in the past.  The past is the seed for future developments—think right and you can fly!  The Kingdom of God is within—and so is the promise of  your future.

Here’s a song for you; “There’s No Me Without  You,” by the Manhattans. 


Please click here;
And HERE, to take us home.

Thank you for your consideration,

C. Be'er la Hai-roi Myers