Some      Assembly

         Required. . .

I’d like to dissect some of the things said in the Malcolm X/Malik El Hajj Shabazz quote I used last article:

“You can’t hate Africa and not hate yourself.  You show me one of these people over here who has been thoroughly brainwashed and has a negative attitude towards Africa, and I’ll show you one who has a negative attitude toward himself.  You can’t have a positive toward yourself and a negative attitude towards Africa at the same time.  To the same degree that your understanding of and attitude toward become positive, you’ll find that your understanding of and your toward yourself will also become positive.”

I read my Chinese fortune cookie as I pondered Malik's quote: “Failure is the only opportunity to begin more intelligently.”  That quote by Malik El Hajj Shabazz is far removed from young folks point of reference.  It takes family, to foster communities and communities to solicit interest in our people, our race, or belief in a diaspora.  The more current generation (Generation Y) aren’t identifying to their parent’s customs, beliefs, religion or tradition; much less the homeland .  They don’t feel the need to follow what their parents did—they would much rather make it up as they go along: Forget, their ancestors, their people and their origin in this world, they have no sense of belonging; generally speaking.  I know your response might be; “We all thought our parents just don’t understand”. . .  But this is different; very different. . .

   I spoke to Saladin on Facebook the other day, after sharing a video with me from HipHopWired.com: Where Kwame, from Philadelphia, talked about the current state of Hip-Hop/Black music being a parody of itself.  My response to the shared concept was as follows:

“This is what happens when others do not care about what happened before or upholding the tradition we worked hard to produce.” 

 Aka, the essence of what things really mean, get lost in the translation of what other people think it’s really about.  Usually, this statement is reserved for what outsiders generally think about Black people; only, in this case, it is our own children to whom we are talking about: They are living an interpretation of how they think we should have “gone about it.”  The unspoken “given” here is—they think previous generations, “f*#k*d it up”—and in a way we did. . .

   There are more children today—born from parents who never shared the same household [meaning from relationship to the birth of the child]—than there are children born from a nuclear family and living in the same household.  This means, the majority of youth today never saw their parents interacting in harmony or affection, or direct everyday family dynamics growing up.  I have a daughter personified or incarnated within such circumstances—fortunately for me, however, my daughter desires to fully know her extended family; Fortunately for me, Nahla [Bee] and I have been solidly working together the entire length of my daughter’s growing up.  As for my own persons, we were raised in the Black traditional way in American society—in the Protestant/Baptist tradition, with its' ways of marriage, heterosexual persuasion, and a sense of Black/White social dynamics in America—drilled into our heads from day one (so a lot of it permeates throughout my reasoning): This includes all the customs and coping skills that goes along with engaging an American environment: That combined with Knowledge of Self makes up the person before you.  Of course these ingredients turned into a sense of destiny much unlike those who think they “made it," because my designs are separate from mainstream society.  But back to the subject at hand, I was not able to see it through with my daughter's mother—she had different ideas about reality, and I began to peep it as we worked through layers of concealment and secrecy, but I was always me from the gate (it isn't like she didn't know how I was beforehand).  We were operating like free-agents; so this was not the right environment to raise children in.  You have to have some sense of unity and working together for the same goals and common causes.  My persons was not equipped to deal with these new attitudes developing in the world; people who are ready to quit the band and start their solo career before the band even gets off of the ground.  The new generation has the tendency to concern itself with only themselves and their freedom, since many of them come from environments were the parental environment and living dynamics were dysfunctional. 

   The baby boomers were the beginning of the groups wanting social change, but a lot of what we did was in the tradition of our parents.  Things we could understand, we abided by.  Things we didn't—we didn't just out and out defy—because our parent's grip was too strong.  We kind of "tested the waters" behind their back; while keeping the appearance of obedience.  We wanted to do things differently, but we (for the most part knew) we were experimenting and that we were uncertain of the outcome; so we kept our parent's norms in our rear view, in case ours didn't work out.  We were discoverers of sorts.  Things we questioned, we challenged first, by putting those theories to test, poking and prodding and seeing what the results manifests.  I held on to those truths I found, because they were profound revelations—shocking and pulverizing as a matter of fact; Then becoming a believer of a majority of them—not by blind faith—but the faith that comes from the realization that that which happened before can and will happen again, given the proper circumstances.  “Today's environment is what happens when others do not care about what happened before or upholding the tradition we worked hard to  produce”—what results is a lost of identity and the crystal clarity that comes from coming face to face with your "stuff". . .

   Ask yourself the question: “How many times, have I looked a fellow Blackman in the face and doubted his abilities, without ever seeing any display of incompetence?”  So what is that doubt based upon, huh?  “How many times, has a woman told you a story about a fellow Blackman, and you believed her without seeing anything or making any type of investigation?”   Why do you so quickly believe such negative things about Black men?  Why do you feel that way about your own kinsmen, so quickly?  It seems, many Black women do not have much confidence in the leadership ability of Black men [see Willie Lynch], and are reluctant to allow Black men to lead them anywhere; particularly when he comes to “ready made” situations.  Why do Black women with children believe they are as marketable as single women?  Why do new wave mothers think they shouldn't sacrifice any of their activities for the sake of their children?  What impact will this have on the generations who grow up under these conditions?  Without rethinking these impromptu responses, Black leadership and Black family is seemingly out of the question for future generations.  People are becoming impatient about sticking it out and finding solutions. . .  I dig you for now is what this is saying, while family and legacy are enduring things that last forever.  As it stands today, there’s a large number of Blacks in America who were born without their parents ever living in the same household.  Without the presence of a nuclear family environment, where are the children supposed to get a sense of what came before or a sense of belonging to a household?  The sense of male/female social interaction will be quite dysfunctional and corrupted from these recent political series of events. . . 

   So what we are seeing is a rapid disintegration of not only our social interaction, but our family situations as well.  During the sixties, we looked towards Africa—sometimes creating a romantic view of it—but using Africa for guidance nonetheless.  In came the Afro, ideas concerning self-reliance, the awareness of the impact of slavery upon Black psyche within America, the using of the terms, “Brother and Sister,” and vocal deeds and actions towards progress: 
“To the same degree that your understanding of and attitude toward Africa become positive, you’ll find that your understanding of and your apreciation toward yourself will also become positive.”

   Those who were part of the Knowledge Skill Era, and listen to those dialogues and did research on various people, became enriched; and those who went the path of the “new wave,” lost the knowledge of themselves—went savage—and is now living a beast way of life like the ancient cave dwellers. . .  DO THE MATH!

HMMMMM…

    The first image of male/female relationship ever gathered by the “off-spring” is their parent's family interaction.  This not only holds true for humans, but plenty for many social creatures as well.  No wonder many of our daughters today make bad choices when it comes down to choosing men; Where are they getting their comparisons from?  Television? Theater? Entertainment? Music icons?  Even a bad father is a positive education of what not to choose. . .  What is being shown today is individualism; parents living a life separate from their children, couples having sex but can't stand to be around each other for any length of time; children that don't talk with their parents and parents who don't talk with their children or guide them after a certain age. . .  What we have here, is the belief in the importance and exaltation of the individual above everyone and anything else; which may include the virtue of self-reliance and personal independence—which makes having children and raising children a liability.

   The very notion of nuclear family had been challenged by the Sexual Revolution and the Feminist Movement as far back as the 60s; so it should come as no surprise that  the nuclear family is almost virtually a thing of the past.  This concept of eradicating the nuclear family was not something started in the Black community—but the mainstream American ideal. It was a phenomena addressing sexuality issues within the White community.  As a matter of fact, if you study the history of the Feminist Movement within the United States, you’ll find little to no participation from the Black community during the inception of either the Sexual Revolution or the Feminist Movement.  The reasons were cultural.  The only ones, who were Black, who participated in any of those demonstrations were either adopted or lived in White communities (which was hard to find due to red lining).

   The Black Power Movement in America was multi-faceted.  Before the movement started, Blacks were in the Segregation Era: A lot of American society was divided into either Black or White America.  There were redlining practices within this country.  Redlining is defined as a refusal (as in a loan, housing, insurance) to someone because they live in an area deemed to be a poor financial risk; so you wound up getting denied or receive things at high prices because they were the only ones who would work with you (for more money).  We were used to living in areas separate from White people—it was the so-called “equal part” of the “Separate But Equal Clause” in Segregation—that Black people disagreed with.  The problem was, we couldn't agree collectively how it should be handled.  There were those of the Black Power Movement who believed that we should have remained separate from mainstream America, and demand more rights and ownership from American society, and those who felt we should integrate (which was more like asking for integration).  There were militant factors and non-violent elements.  There was the Klu Klux Klan and lynchings and violent elements within the White society and those who sought an end to this turmoil in the White community as well.  John F. Kennedy was the president then.  The Civil Rights struggle was largely lead by Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King and his Non-violent Movement.  There were many riots and incidents that were occurring in this country during that time; spearheaded by the various Black and White grass root and clandestine groups.  There were also clandestine and open elements within the government as well, shaping the advents as we struggled against the "machine."  There were Whites which opposed the war, like the Hippies and the Flower Children, and right wing and Communist elements as well.  In other words, the establishment was facing first class turmoil.

            

    Even though a lot of the gripes the Feminist Movement/Equal Rights/present concerning the inequalities of Western women at the hands of Western men are legitimate—their way of resolving those issues were not what conscious Black woman (or everyday grass root women) believed was the solution.  As a matter of fact, many of issues Black women had in those days, were resolved through their own networks; they had no need for that type of structure mainstream housewives and single White women produced.  Among the movement were various alternative lifestyle women as well (although during that time alternative people were less vocal about their presence during those days).  Besides, few of the solutions presented by the Feminist Movement during that time, seemed irreconcilable with men—however, that might have been what their leadership wanted.*  What I do know is, Black women in those days were not interested in pressing points and staging arguments that could possibly end up breaking up their homes; especially if it left them solely responsibility of taking care of their own tribe.

   Let us not forget, man is a social creature, and the basic social unit is the nuclear family; the outgrowth of which is the tribe—the kindredness of tribes or alliances—is the basis for security and protection.  Civilization is a social order, promoting cultural creation.  For this vehicle, you need rules and regulations in order to maintain social harmony through fairness.  This is where the real growth occurs—because it is here where you maintain cohesiveness—through civil rules, rights and privileges.  It is here that you begin to see, what members of your same ethnic group have in common.  Then, once you mature consciously, you can look at your people as a whole:

“[But] you know yourself that we have been a people who hated our African characteristics.  We hated our heads, we hated the shape of our nose, we wanted one of those doglike noses, you know; we hated the color of our skin, hated the blood of Africa that was in our veins.  And in hating our features and our skin and our blood, we end up hating ourselves.  It made us feel inferior; it made us feel inadequate; made us feel helpless.  And when we fell victim to this feeling of inadequacy or inferiority or helpless, we turned to somebody else to show us the way.”

Back Where we Live. . .

     

   We live in America.  We might have come from Africa, Central Asia or Asia; but that was over 460 years ago.  Chattel slavery covered three hundred and ten of those years; so it should come as no surprise why we think of servitude and getting a job—rather than creating one for ourselves: They thought they owned us and many of us think we belong to them.  And if we did create a job for ourselves, we would—more than likely—need to depend on persons of our own kind to frequent it, in order to stay in business; so judging from our current state of mind, this would be risky business.

   The innuendo and tone of mainstream America, makes it unpopular to be Black person in America—and for the most part, these are the only social traits most of our people know.  The changes and trends mainstream America goes through, definitely affects the thinking of a majority of Blacks living on American soil.  While our ancestors may have been very conscious of the fact that Blacks and Whites in America are two entirely different type of people, with different social psychological divides and the White air of superiority separating the two—the X and Y or millennials seem less cognizant of that fact: On the contrary, almost all millennials seem to possess this “air of entitlement,” which permeates the majority of their thought processes.  Millennials seem to be less cognizant of the fact, in the workplace, as well as, in mainstream American society, there is a different treatment between Blacks and Whites; And although our elder generation's behavior might be a product of conditioning that they don’t possess, our children will still have to face the same elements which keep the “status quo alive” and oppress the under classes. 

   In the past, we tried to reason with the Western world, and prayed to God that He would change their ways, so that we could live in harmony with mainstream Whites.  We continued to solicit for jobs from mainstream America, and hoped to find fair employers.  In other words, we relied on the benevolence of others and hoped that others would change to make our situation better.  We banned together during Segregation, partially because we wanted to establish our own, and partially because we had no other choice.  We dart in and out of situationships hoping to find the perfect combination, rather than build it ourselves.  To me, this is fundamentally flawed Black thinking.  We do these things, because our belief in each other was shaken from the trauma of slavery, and because of bad publicity on the part of the culture that enslaved us.  We hoped that integration would have helped us, yet—for all the seemingly good benefits that were hoped to be derived from that; we have our children behaving more and more like the ungrateful attitude of privileged White children.

   Our children refused to see that there are two different worlds in America: One Black and one White; and I guess that’s all right psychologically—that is, until you come across an elder who has the “two separate world mentality” and is controlling your livelihood. . .   I guess then, that type of situation will send Black millennials straight to the analyst couch:

“We didn’t have confidence in another Blackman to show us the way, or Black people to show us the way.  In those days we didn’t.  We didn’t think a Black man could do anything except play some horn—you know; make sounds and make you happy with some songs and in that way.  But in serious things, where our food, clothing, shelter, and education were concerned, we turned to the White man.  We never thought in terms of bring these things into existence for ourselves; we never thought in terms of doing for ourselves: Because we felt helpless.” 

   I guess, since all of the millennials seem to be “making it up as we go along,” they are under the belief—when those who believe in the old customs and traditions die out, they will be in charge; That is, until Ferguson; That is, until Michael Sam.  These youngsters do not have the coping skills or moral values that we have.  And even if we gave this training to them, they may have forsaken them on behalf of the majority.  Black millennials are finding a lot of these clashes with what they want versus society, because millennials believe the American Dream was written with them in mind.  Wake up!

   We have to start with changing our traumatized views and opinions of each other.  I figure by showing who and what is causing this to happen, Black people can start to recognize that our self-hatred is not self-induced but orchestrated.  Next, if mainstream America can humiliate an old Black icon like Bill Cosby—no one is safe under their system.  We need to recognize that our only strength is in each other, not relying on another group of people.  Mainstream America will reward as long as you do as your told, and will clown you (or destroy) you if you don’t.  The Integration Dream is one of dependance, than mobility.  Sure, it allows you to be around the same creature comforts, but it also comes with a price tag and an obligation clause.

   Right now, we have learned a lot of important skills, but we are a people without land; making sovereignty very difficult.  Before the sixties went out, we were calling each other brothers and sisters.  We were forged from the same political cauldron, and learned through crisis to be reasonable: Any drug addict knows not to make allegiance with anyone which has not been through the same circumstances; That is, not the people who have robbed you and now live in luxury at your expense.  If your own people live near them and do nothing for your people; those Blacks are puppets and sell-outs— bought for a price: "What happens to one of us, can happen to the other, if we don’t take heed and change the conditions."  This can only occur when we care for each other; therefore we must learn to love each other and stop blaming the victims.

   The movement choosing to live in their environments, under the jurisdiction of another people was/is a mistake; point blank.  We have grown more apart than as a people.  Many of our people do not like us as a people.  When they murder us, we look at how that person lived, and alienate ourselves on the basis of idiosyncrasies and/or religion.  It's as though we are saying, it's all right to kill a street person, drug-dealer, or a Hip-hopper, or high school drop-out: How about a person from the ghetto?   Is it okay for American society to exterminate those types?  Will we not protest about those Black people?
   Solidarity is the key here.  Gaining compassion for ourselves is key here.  My parents stuck it out as long as they could—I received an example of what two people attempting to work together for a number of years could provide; but we need better examples for our species to survive and flourish.  These millennials are suffering because their parents had less tolerance than their parents and they will have less than them.  Most millennials are a product of not believing in sex before marriage, marriage, and firm commitments  to form families; and as a result our children became "the away team"—suitcase in hand.  On an evolutionary scale, millennials are doing what it takes in order to survive the environments they are placed in.  They are the children of zealots of the rugged individual cult.  They are products of parents who are going their own way; some crack addicts, some ego centered people who don't take family as a priority: If the parents are smart, they'd work diligently to show their children love, equip them with the skills necessary to recognize what certain conditions mean in this environment, and protect them when they are at home (in your personal camp) or abroad.  This behavior gives them a sense of belonging.  If the conditions are adverse for them in the other camp, such as a fight for custody; it's important not to fight in front of the children, or spread your discontent with the other parent in front of the children.  Let them form their own perceptions of the other parent on their own.

   As Blacks who live in America, we had to overcome the same isolation and alienation from mainstream American society; this makes us brothers and sisters, plus companions in tribulations; if we can dig it.  We should be here for each other, to give each other tips on how to survive the assault; that is the ones who know we are being assaulted.  

   Millennials have given into Western individualism, for the most part—at some other point—they will experience “united we stand/divided we fall.”  That’s when they'll be accepting of coping skills and our various tools.  We have to be ready.  And if they go to a psychologist or psychiatrist—make sure they are a brother or sister, forged under similar conditions  We can fight the foe, if we know what the conditions are, and recognize why they exist and who made them exist. 

Thank you for your consideration,

C. Be'er la Hai-roi Myers 

Peace