Reciprocity 

    Would you keep playing a game if you kept losing and showed no signs of getting better or ever winning any awards?  Well, if you wouldn't like it, what would make you think that you should keep it one hundred, speak to your parents and so-called friends in a manner which is so disrespectful and without any regard to their sentiments,  and then expect these same people to continue to support you and come to your aid, in your time of need?  That is an unrealistic expectation—based upon your ways and actions. . . You did nothing to make that person feel good about helping you; in any way.  Are you the type who would continue to give assists on the basketball courts, while never getting a shot?  Who feels good about a career like that?  Are you that type of person who would sacrifice his/her life for their children—only to get put in the old folks home when you retire. . .  That would be so inconsiderate on the part of the children who received such support!  How would you like to be that person who’s always taking shorts?  

     If you want to keep things on an even keel—that is, working on your behalf—you have to be that type of person who will do the type of things that will keep things balanced.  There has to be something in the interchange for the other guy; in other words, there must be some sort of compensation.  Relationships don't just hold fast on their own—each person must play their part.  Social harmony is something that has to be preserved or maintained.  After all, everyone with any sense of self worth [self-esteem] is always looking out for their own personal interests and things that make them feel good: Maintaining reciprocity between people who will do things for you, is the best way to insure assistance in achieving your goals when you need others to come to your aid.  As Aretha Franklin once said, “If you want a do right all day woman, you got to be a do right all night man.”  A guy who doesn’t show any acts of gratitude to a woman who cooks his food, take care of his children, and offers him sound advice; while respecting what he has to say—his power and authority—is truly a dummy indeed.  A little gratitude can go a long way: Mario Puzo writes in the Godfather Part III; " The richest man is the one with the most powerful friends. . ." Now which act do you think would be most appreciated; Giving a person ten dollars for driving you somewhere or putting ten dollars worth of gas in their car?  Deeds not words. . .  

    That’s being considerate; showing others that you care for them just as much as they care for you; you know, returning the favor.  After all, I’m not going to keep bending over backwards, if you’re not going to appreciate me or show me that you care anything about me or my efforts. . .  Because life is just like that: A reciprocal thing; A something for something proposition.  And if you are too stupid to recognize this gem here, you’re sure are going to be lonely for the rest of your life—or living with a basket-case bimbo. . .  Nobody wants to take shorts or get dissed all the time. . .  Everybody wants to win or have something to feel good about.  That’s why you need to reward them for their efforts; so they won’t feel negative about you or feel that you are a bad investment.  If you do all the taking and never give anything in return, who’s gonna’ want you around?  You should treat folks how you want to be treated; if you expect the same from them.  That shows that you care just as much about them [and what they do] as you do for yourself.  As Billy Preston said, “Nothing from Nothing leaves Nothing—you got to have something; if you want to be with me.”

We like to pretend that we are independent; that we don’t need anyone—but everyone needs somebody to love and to be loved and appreciated. . .  Show those good folks that you appreciate them:  At least then, you’ll keep getting those assists. . .

     Everything that functions on earth goes by rules: If they are not operating by rules, it’s operating in chaos—soon to be not operating at all.  That’s what ecology is, things operating in harmony with each other: Balance within an environment in which a certain thing is operating within its' parameters.  People who search to find the rules in which things operate by, are people who repair things or diagnose things to keep them functioning properly.  There isn't a thing on this earth, which functions properly, that doesn’t go by the rules.  Those who are wise, want to know what these rules are—so they can engage things in the proper manner and keep things in running order or within proper protocol.  These people are known as investigators, researchers and scientists.  All  of these people realize that everything has a reason behind why it happens:  There are no Siberian Huskies native to Africa.  In the northern part of America, there are several species of birds, ducks and butterflies who fly south for the winter.  Mice don’t frequent the same areas that rats do. . .  Creatures are designed for their environments, but Western man in his finite wisdom has decided differently, and we see what that brings for others. . .

   Everything has a purpose and a reason for doing what it does; even if the reason is foolish: Over in Australia, so-many years ago, they had a rabbit/rodent problem because they hunted fox to the point of extinction, and in doing so they threw the ecological system out of balance; due to their overzealous desires.  You see a lot of this in the European/Western world.  They talk about ecology and living in harmony with nature, but they really live according to their desires: Just look at Bruce Jenner (aka Caitlin Jenner}.   Many times, what you need to do and what you feel like doing—maybe two different things; but you have to learn to do what’s best for the overall situation [despite how you feel].  Your actions have to be in harmony with everything else—your actions must be synchronous with the order of things—that is, the proper unfoldment of things.  Life has a way of giving everything its' moment of glory, or chance to shine—life’s justice mechanisms makes sure of that.  

     Life is balanced like that; right down to your physical makeup.  Homeostasis is the tendency towards a relatively stable equilibrium between interdependent elements; especially as maintained by physiological processes.  When this is not maintained; illness occurs: When relationships are not maintained; chaos occurs.  Disharmony occurs.  If you are the captain of your own destiny, you must be responsible for righting the ship because it is your responsibility.  You can’t take credit for everything that works good in your life, and then play the Blame Someone Else game when calamity strikes. . .  The only way we become better in life, is to own up to both sides of the equation.

   There are people who want to know why something is being done; they want to discover the purpose behind certain actions, as well as establish more efficient ways to get the job done; Like a sort of research and development team, a scientist of life (at various times), carries out all of these various types of functions.  Without any research, there can be no development; and without development—things stagnate.  Life is also a continuum—meaning everything is based upon what came before; and what came before is based upon specific patterns which yields results.  Another word for this is called, “Order.”  What we are currently discussing is a social order; or how things can function harmoniously between each other.  They say that, “Self preservation is the first law of nature,” and by being first, that makes it a prime factor—but by being prime, also makes it primitive: As expressed before, Man is a social creature—meaning he or she depends on the collective efforts of others in order to help him perform his or her functions.  Children have the tendency to think only of themselves, simply because it is a basic instinct of nature, but as we are raised or cultivated into the mainstream society, we are taught to cultivate our relationships with others.  On a very basic level, these things are done because as a social creature, you’re going to need other relationships in order to help you survive in life.  You must realize that you are the author of your own destiny, and life happens, to teach us of our abilities.  I may be able to teach you many things, but I can’t teach character or integrity—you either have these things or your don't; and if you don't, you must summon these things based upon what life experiences has taught you; I cannot help you there—you have to be the one who pays attention—you can't afford free speech.  You have got to believe—not in a mystery God—but an investment in the God which lives within you.  You must summon it forth.  There is a better way and you must find it.  Don’t just do things because your peers do things or because it is familiar; consider where these things will take you and be reasonable—but most of all; Think for yourself.

  As I asked you earlier, “Would you keep playing a game if you kept losing and showed no signs of getting better or ever winning any awards?”  Probably not.  No one is going to keep putting themselves in a position to receive nothing in return; that is, unless they’re daft or damaged goods [has self-esteem issues].  Most people expect something in return; even if it’s only gratitude—so if you want the winds of change to work for you—you'll have to invest in your working relationships by doing things to maintain them: You have to keep things on good terms.  You must understand, preserving your relationships with others is key to your own survival: Doing something to maintain something; that is, reciprocity.   

    We must never forget, we are in a land which is not our own: The people here are not our own.  We were brought to this country for a specific purpose, and due to those people’s level humanistic development, we were separated from the chattel part of the equation; yet we are still subject to their trends—because this is THEIR culture: Our culture is just distant memories for most of our people.  Whatever you may call it—spirit, fads, or generational concerns—the current vibration in America is leading us into individual acts and efforts, instead of solidarity.  I need only to quote a Classic Roman proverbial wisdom to let you know what time has been: "Divide and conquer" and suddenly the picture becomes quite clear.  When you step outside the dream of wishing to be or being an American, you will see that your people has always been subject to another people's jurisdiction here—that is; the same people used to be enslaved too (by the Roman).  Need I elaborate on what has been the outcome for all these years?  These people have compartments within their society (such as law enforcement), which will collectively handle the problem—that is; should people not conform.  All groups within American society will have to conform to American society; otherwise that society will be labeled subversive and removed.  It is a terrible thing when people who do not care for you (like they do their own), wound up handling your situation and meting out justice for you. . .  However, or whatever happens, it will be done in solidarity: You will see it on the television.  You will see it in the press and hear over the air.  Their will only be one resolution concerning you: You will be the example.  No matter how much money you make in this country as an individual—you can't quell a crowd who feels you're not the same as they are; particularly when you are in THEIR area.  Recognize, that there's real strength in numbers, and as social creatures  people need people; Which means we need to come together for our own good.  This means you're going to understand we need each other, if you are ever going to be successful.  And in order to sustain that help, you'll need to establish endearment; and that will come—if you exercise proper reciprocity.

Thank you for your consideration,

C. Be'er la Hai-roi Myers 

Peace

Some      Assembly

         Required. . .

I’d like to dissect some of the things said in the Malcolm X/Malik El Hajj Shabazz quote I used last article:

“You can’t hate Africa and not hate yourself.  You show me one of these people over here who has been thoroughly brainwashed and has a negative attitude towards Africa, and I’ll show you one who has a negative attitude toward himself.  You can’t have a positive toward yourself and a negative attitude towards Africa at the same time.  To the same degree that your understanding of and attitude toward become positive, you’ll find that your understanding of and your toward yourself will also become positive.”

I read my Chinese fortune cookie as I pondered Malik's quote: “Failure is the only opportunity to begin more intelligently.”  That quote by Malik El Hajj Shabazz is far removed from young folks point of reference.  It takes family, to foster communities and communities to solicit interest in our people, our race, or belief in a diaspora.  The more current generation (Generation Y) aren’t identifying to their parent’s customs, beliefs, religion or tradition; much less the homeland .  They don’t feel the need to follow what their parents did—they would much rather make it up as they go along: Forget, their ancestors, their people and their origin in this world, they have no sense of belonging; generally speaking.  I know your response might be; “We all thought our parents just don’t understand”. . .  But this is different; very different. . .

   I spoke to Saladin on Facebook the other day, after sharing a video with me from HipHopWired.com: Where Kwame, from Philadelphia, talked about the current state of Hip-Hop/Black music being a parody of itself.  My response to the shared concept was as follows:

“This is what happens when others do not care about what happened before or upholding the tradition we worked hard to produce.” 

 Aka, the essence of what things really mean, get lost in the translation of what other people think it’s really about.  Usually, this statement is reserved for what outsiders generally think about Black people; only, in this case, it is our own children to whom we are talking about: They are living an interpretation of how they think we should have “gone about it.”  The unspoken “given” here is—they think previous generations, “f*#k*d it up”—and in a way we did. . .

   There are more children today—born from parents who never shared the same household [meaning from relationship to the birth of the child]—than there are children born from a nuclear family and living in the same household.  This means, the majority of youth today never saw their parents interacting in harmony or affection, or direct everyday family dynamics growing up.  I have a daughter personified or incarnated within such circumstances—fortunately for me, however, my daughter desires to fully know her extended family; Fortunately for me, Nahla [Bee] and I have been solidly working together the entire length of my daughter’s growing up.  As for my own persons, we were raised in the Black traditional way in American society—in the Protestant/Baptist tradition, with its' ways of marriage, heterosexual persuasion, and a sense of Black/White social dynamics in America—drilled into our heads from day one (so a lot of it permeates throughout my reasoning): This includes all the customs and coping skills that goes along with engaging an American environment: That combined with Knowledge of Self makes up the person before you.  Of course these ingredients turned into a sense of destiny much unlike those who think they “made it," because my designs are separate from mainstream society.  But back to the subject at hand, I was not able to see it through with my daughter's mother—she had different ideas about reality, and I began to peep it as we worked through layers of concealment and secrecy, but I was always me from the gate (it isn't like she didn't know how I was beforehand).  We were operating like free-agents; so this was not the right environment to raise children in.  You have to have some sense of unity and working together for the same goals and common causes.  My persons was not equipped to deal with these new attitudes developing in the world; people who are ready to quit the band and start their solo career before the band even gets off of the ground.  The new generation has the tendency to concern itself with only themselves and their freedom, since many of them come from environments were the parental environment and living dynamics were dysfunctional. 

   The baby boomers were the beginning of the groups wanting social change, but a lot of what we did was in the tradition of our parents.  Things we could understand, we abided by.  Things we didn't—we didn't just out and out defy—because our parent's grip was too strong.  We kind of "tested the waters" behind their back; while keeping the appearance of obedience.  We wanted to do things differently, but we (for the most part knew) we were experimenting and that we were uncertain of the outcome; so we kept our parent's norms in our rear view, in case ours didn't work out.  We were discoverers of sorts.  Things we questioned, we challenged first, by putting those theories to test, poking and prodding and seeing what the results manifests.  I held on to those truths I found, because they were profound revelations—shocking and pulverizing as a matter of fact; Then becoming a believer of a majority of them—not by blind faith—but the faith that comes from the realization that that which happened before can and will happen again, given the proper circumstances.  “Today's environment is what happens when others do not care about what happened before or upholding the tradition we worked hard to  produce”—what results is a lost of identity and the crystal clarity that comes from coming face to face with your "stuff". . .

   Ask yourself the question: “How many times, have I looked a fellow Blackman in the face and doubted his abilities, without ever seeing any display of incompetence?”  So what is that doubt based upon, huh?  “How many times, has a woman told you a story about a fellow Blackman, and you believed her without seeing anything or making any type of investigation?”   Why do you so quickly believe such negative things about Black men?  Why do you feel that way about your own kinsmen, so quickly?  It seems, many Black women do not have much confidence in the leadership ability of Black men [see Willie Lynch], and are reluctant to allow Black men to lead them anywhere; particularly when he comes to “ready made” situations.  Why do Black women with children believe they are as marketable as single women?  Why do new wave mothers think they shouldn't sacrifice any of their activities for the sake of their children?  What impact will this have on the generations who grow up under these conditions?  Without rethinking these impromptu responses, Black leadership and Black family is seemingly out of the question for future generations.  People are becoming impatient about sticking it out and finding solutions. . .  I dig you for now is what this is saying, while family and legacy are enduring things that last forever.  As it stands today, there’s a large number of Blacks in America who were born without their parents ever living in the same household.  Without the presence of a nuclear family environment, where are the children supposed to get a sense of what came before or a sense of belonging to a household?  The sense of male/female social interaction will be quite dysfunctional and corrupted from these recent political series of events. . . 

   So what we are seeing is a rapid disintegration of not only our social interaction, but our family situations as well.  During the sixties, we looked towards Africa—sometimes creating a romantic view of it—but using Africa for guidance nonetheless.  In came the Afro, ideas concerning self-reliance, the awareness of the impact of slavery upon Black psyche within America, the using of the terms, “Brother and Sister,” and vocal deeds and actions towards progress: 
“To the same degree that your understanding of and attitude toward Africa become positive, you’ll find that your understanding of and your apreciation toward yourself will also become positive.”

   Those who were part of the Knowledge Skill Era, and listen to those dialogues and did research on various people, became enriched; and those who went the path of the “new wave,” lost the knowledge of themselves—went savage—and is now living a beast way of life like the ancient cave dwellers. . .  DO THE MATH!

HMMMMM…

    The first image of male/female relationship ever gathered by the “off-spring” is their parent's family interaction.  This not only holds true for humans, but plenty for many social creatures as well.  No wonder many of our daughters today make bad choices when it comes down to choosing men; Where are they getting their comparisons from?  Television? Theater? Entertainment? Music icons?  Even a bad father is a positive education of what not to choose. . .  What is being shown today is individualism; parents living a life separate from their children, couples having sex but can't stand to be around each other for any length of time; children that don't talk with their parents and parents who don't talk with their children or guide them after a certain age. . .  What we have here, is the belief in the importance and exaltation of the individual above everyone and anything else; which may include the virtue of self-reliance and personal independence—which makes having children and raising children a liability.

   The very notion of nuclear family had been challenged by the Sexual Revolution and the Feminist Movement as far back as the 60s; so it should come as no surprise that  the nuclear family is almost virtually a thing of the past.  This concept of eradicating the nuclear family was not something started in the Black community—but the mainstream American ideal. It was a phenomena addressing sexuality issues within the White community.  As a matter of fact, if you study the history of the Feminist Movement within the United States, you’ll find little to no participation from the Black community during the inception of either the Sexual Revolution or the Feminist Movement.  The reasons were cultural.  The only ones, who were Black, who participated in any of those demonstrations were either adopted or lived in White communities (which was hard to find due to red lining).

   The Black Power Movement in America was multi-faceted.  Before the movement started, Blacks were in the Segregation Era: A lot of American society was divided into either Black or White America.  There were redlining practices within this country.  Redlining is defined as a refusal (as in a loan, housing, insurance) to someone because they live in an area deemed to be a poor financial risk; so you wound up getting denied or receive things at high prices because they were the only ones who would work with you (for more money).  We were used to living in areas separate from White people—it was the so-called “equal part” of the “Separate But Equal Clause” in Segregation—that Black people disagreed with.  The problem was, we couldn't agree collectively how it should be handled.  There were those of the Black Power Movement who believed that we should have remained separate from mainstream America, and demand more rights and ownership from American society, and those who felt we should integrate (which was more like asking for integration).  There were militant factors and non-violent elements.  There was the Klu Klux Klan and lynchings and violent elements within the White society and those who sought an end to this turmoil in the White community as well.  John F. Kennedy was the president then.  The Civil Rights struggle was largely lead by Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King and his Non-violent Movement.  There were many riots and incidents that were occurring in this country during that time; spearheaded by the various Black and White grass root and clandestine groups.  There were also clandestine and open elements within the government as well, shaping the advents as we struggled against the "machine."  There were Whites which opposed the war, like the Hippies and the Flower Children, and right wing and Communist elements as well.  In other words, the establishment was facing first class turmoil.

            

    Even though a lot of the gripes the Feminist Movement/Equal Rights/present concerning the inequalities of Western women at the hands of Western men are legitimate—their way of resolving those issues were not what conscious Black woman (or everyday grass root women) believed was the solution.  As a matter of fact, many of issues Black women had in those days, were resolved through their own networks; they had no need for that type of structure mainstream housewives and single White women produced.  Among the movement were various alternative lifestyle women as well (although during that time alternative people were less vocal about their presence during those days).  Besides, few of the solutions presented by the Feminist Movement during that time, seemed irreconcilable with men—however, that might have been what their leadership wanted.*  What I do know is, Black women in those days were not interested in pressing points and staging arguments that could possibly end up breaking up their homes; especially if it left them solely responsibility of taking care of their own tribe.

   Let us not forget, man is a social creature, and the basic social unit is the nuclear family; the outgrowth of which is the tribe—the kindredness of tribes or alliances—is the basis for security and protection.  Civilization is a social order, promoting cultural creation.  For this vehicle, you need rules and regulations in order to maintain social harmony through fairness.  This is where the real growth occurs—because it is here where you maintain cohesiveness—through civil rules, rights and privileges.  It is here that you begin to see, what members of your same ethnic group have in common.  Then, once you mature consciously, you can look at your people as a whole:

“[But] you know yourself that we have been a people who hated our African characteristics.  We hated our heads, we hated the shape of our nose, we wanted one of those doglike noses, you know; we hated the color of our skin, hated the blood of Africa that was in our veins.  And in hating our features and our skin and our blood, we end up hating ourselves.  It made us feel inferior; it made us feel inadequate; made us feel helpless.  And when we fell victim to this feeling of inadequacy or inferiority or helpless, we turned to somebody else to show us the way.”

Back Where we Live. . .

     

   We live in America.  We might have come from Africa, Central Asia or Asia; but that was over 460 years ago.  Chattel slavery covered three hundred and ten of those years; so it should come as no surprise why we think of servitude and getting a job—rather than creating one for ourselves: They thought they owned us and many of us think we belong to them.  And if we did create a job for ourselves, we would—more than likely—need to depend on persons of our own kind to frequent it, in order to stay in business; so judging from our current state of mind, this would be risky business.

   The innuendo and tone of mainstream America, makes it unpopular to be Black person in America—and for the most part, these are the only social traits most of our people know.  The changes and trends mainstream America goes through, definitely affects the thinking of a majority of Blacks living on American soil.  While our ancestors may have been very conscious of the fact that Blacks and Whites in America are two entirely different type of people, with different social psychological divides and the White air of superiority separating the two—the X and Y or millennials seem less cognizant of that fact: On the contrary, almost all millennials seem to possess this “air of entitlement,” which permeates the majority of their thought processes.  Millennials seem to be less cognizant of the fact, in the workplace, as well as, in mainstream American society, there is a different treatment between Blacks and Whites; And although our elder generation's behavior might be a product of conditioning that they don’t possess, our children will still have to face the same elements which keep the “status quo alive” and oppress the under classes. 

   In the past, we tried to reason with the Western world, and prayed to God that He would change their ways, so that we could live in harmony with mainstream Whites.  We continued to solicit for jobs from mainstream America, and hoped to find fair employers.  In other words, we relied on the benevolence of others and hoped that others would change to make our situation better.  We banned together during Segregation, partially because we wanted to establish our own, and partially because we had no other choice.  We dart in and out of situationships hoping to find the perfect combination, rather than build it ourselves.  To me, this is fundamentally flawed Black thinking.  We do these things, because our belief in each other was shaken from the trauma of slavery, and because of bad publicity on the part of the culture that enslaved us.  We hoped that integration would have helped us, yet—for all the seemingly good benefits that were hoped to be derived from that; we have our children behaving more and more like the ungrateful attitude of privileged White children.

   Our children refused to see that there are two different worlds in America: One Black and one White; and I guess that’s all right psychologically—that is, until you come across an elder who has the “two separate world mentality” and is controlling your livelihood. . .   I guess then, that type of situation will send Black millennials straight to the analyst couch:

“We didn’t have confidence in another Blackman to show us the way, or Black people to show us the way.  In those days we didn’t.  We didn’t think a Black man could do anything except play some horn—you know; make sounds and make you happy with some songs and in that way.  But in serious things, where our food, clothing, shelter, and education were concerned, we turned to the White man.  We never thought in terms of bring these things into existence for ourselves; we never thought in terms of doing for ourselves: Because we felt helpless.” 

   I guess, since all of the millennials seem to be “making it up as we go along,” they are under the belief—when those who believe in the old customs and traditions die out, they will be in charge; That is, until Ferguson; That is, until Michael Sam.  These youngsters do not have the coping skills or moral values that we have.  And even if we gave this training to them, they may have forsaken them on behalf of the majority.  Black millennials are finding a lot of these clashes with what they want versus society, because millennials believe the American Dream was written with them in mind.  Wake up!

   We have to start with changing our traumatized views and opinions of each other.  I figure by showing who and what is causing this to happen, Black people can start to recognize that our self-hatred is not self-induced but orchestrated.  Next, if mainstream America can humiliate an old Black icon like Bill Cosby—no one is safe under their system.  We need to recognize that our only strength is in each other, not relying on another group of people.  Mainstream America will reward as long as you do as your told, and will clown you (or destroy) you if you don’t.  The Integration Dream is one of dependance, than mobility.  Sure, it allows you to be around the same creature comforts, but it also comes with a price tag and an obligation clause.

   Right now, we have learned a lot of important skills, but we are a people without land; making sovereignty very difficult.  Before the sixties went out, we were calling each other brothers and sisters.  We were forged from the same political cauldron, and learned through crisis to be reasonable: Any drug addict knows not to make allegiance with anyone which has not been through the same circumstances; That is, not the people who have robbed you and now live in luxury at your expense.  If your own people live near them and do nothing for your people; those Blacks are puppets and sell-outs— bought for a price: "What happens to one of us, can happen to the other, if we don’t take heed and change the conditions."  This can only occur when we care for each other; therefore we must learn to love each other and stop blaming the victims.

   The movement choosing to live in their environments, under the jurisdiction of another people was/is a mistake; point blank.  We have grown more apart than as a people.  Many of our people do not like us as a people.  When they murder us, we look at how that person lived, and alienate ourselves on the basis of idiosyncrasies and/or religion.  It's as though we are saying, it's all right to kill a street person, drug-dealer, or a Hip-hopper, or high school drop-out: How about a person from the ghetto?   Is it okay for American society to exterminate those types?  Will we not protest about those Black people?
   Solidarity is the key here.  Gaining compassion for ourselves is key here.  My parents stuck it out as long as they could—I received an example of what two people attempting to work together for a number of years could provide; but we need better examples for our species to survive and flourish.  These millennials are suffering because their parents had less tolerance than their parents and they will have less than them.  Most millennials are a product of not believing in sex before marriage, marriage, and firm commitments  to form families; and as a result our children became "the away team"—suitcase in hand.  On an evolutionary scale, millennials are doing what it takes in order to survive the environments they are placed in.  They are the children of zealots of the rugged individual cult.  They are products of parents who are going their own way; some crack addicts, some ego centered people who don't take family as a priority: If the parents are smart, they'd work diligently to show their children love, equip them with the skills necessary to recognize what certain conditions mean in this environment, and protect them when they are at home (in your personal camp) or abroad.  This behavior gives them a sense of belonging.  If the conditions are adverse for them in the other camp, such as a fight for custody; it's important not to fight in front of the children, or spread your discontent with the other parent in front of the children.  Let them form their own perceptions of the other parent on their own.

   As Blacks who live in America, we had to overcome the same isolation and alienation from mainstream American society; this makes us brothers and sisters, plus companions in tribulations; if we can dig it.  We should be here for each other, to give each other tips on how to survive the assault; that is the ones who know we are being assaulted.  

   Millennials have given into Western individualism, for the most part—at some other point—they will experience “united we stand/divided we fall.”  That’s when they'll be accepting of coping skills and our various tools.  We have to be ready.  And if they go to a psychologist or psychiatrist—make sure they are a brother or sister, forged under similar conditions  We can fight the foe, if we know what the conditions are, and recognize why they exist and who made them exist. 

Thank you for your consideration,

C. Be'er la Hai-roi Myers 

Peace