Love: Allowing YourSelf A Chance To Heal

A wise Blackman told me, "Traditional Africans always teach their sons to listen to their women: Not so he may not follow everything she says, but to utilize her insights when things don't go as he planned."

   And to this I say, "Every generation may feel that they are wiser than their predecessors, but as you mature, you should learn to listen to your parents closely, so that you can remember exactly what they said--before you do what you want to do; else wise put your theories to the test.  This way, if things do not go as you plan, if you are the type who is honest with yourself and accept some complicity and responsibility in how events are turning out; you'd adequately be able to troubleshoot, compare the approaches, find each flaw and upgrade your methodology."

   This essentially is how it's been done for generations by children and their parents; from the traditionalists, to the first, second, and third generations of Baby Boomers birthed into existence.  That covers a span of time from 1914-1962 (those afterwards would be called Generation X).  It is a system in which you come to know what the results were going to be, and pass it on to their progeny.  It is a system that refines itself as it goes along; although it does have its difficulties as well (some of which I mentioned in the previous blog); it is a formula that is self-managing or self-diagnostic for the circumspect or person who is honest with himself.

   Morally speaking, in generations prior, we had this way about us: By that, I mean social consideration. It was a social value handed down all the way down until the birth of Generation X--but it wasn't X who started the ruckus known to be associated with the generation--it was many of the Fathers and Mothers of Generation X; my generation!  Yes, it was the last of the Baby Boomers who began to question the tradition and authority that was crafted from many generations before: Namely, it was those Baby Boomers who were teenagers during the 60s and the 70s who "questioned the authority" of our parents as to why "they" choose to things that way!

   Funny thing about questioning the authority: Those who follow tradition, have the ageless sophistication of many, many people from the past, contributing in resolving the issue or in connection with the underlined significance of such experience found behind their actions (exponentially increasing the possibilities of arriving at the proper conclusion). . . For good or for bad--found just because they considered what their predecessors or others said.   

Those who start want to something new (ipso-facto) are not using a wealth of experience to go by previous inquisitors or acquire previous know-how to go by in reference to doing all those things (i.e.,besides Google); or short of their dislike of their parent's ideologies, their "bright" ideas and determination or arrogance to get the job done.  They, and maybe members of their generation, may be the first of these people to put such theories to the test; and probably they, and/or other members of their generation will probably be the only of such people to cultivate such experiences to guide them--since their children (will probably have the same or similar types of attitudes as their parents) and will (once again) no longer desire to live by the previous concepts of their parents; as a way of life.       

  It is rather astounding that in a computer age we can have such a truncated approach; for the combination of the two approaches would be a knockout like a Malcolm & Martin Ballot, or a Muhammad Ali/Mike Tyson-type of boxer.

  

   I see great acumen and technological know-how in Generation X, but I also see a lack in their level of involvement in things; seemingly not passionate and relentless enough.  I don't see enough tenacity, not enough camaraderie and joint effort with the others of the same the group of people they come from; to them--being Black is just a coincidence.  Our generation are all too aware of our Blackness (and the various attitudes affiliated with it) because the "I'm Black and I'm Proud Impetus" was created during my teens by James Brown and others.  Before that, mainstream society had created a dark and ugly image of us a people.  The "Peace and Love" Movement of the Sixties may have "loosen-up the surface of the time," but prior to the period was embedded hardcore biases, racism, and xenophobia.  There was evidence of an "All Eyes Upon Me" like Tupac (maybe he was all-too familiar with it due to the element his mother's reality provided).

This produced more divisions within the Pre-X Generational Era, but it also provided a response from the Black community which fostered a better "Sense of Self" for Blacks outside of the mainstream or White community (remember this was the era when the authorities sic police dogs on Blacks in America):

   "Things you blow, because you can't swim--ohh, don't hold your nose to spite your

    face; Because the rhythm it takes to dance to what we have to live thru, you could

    dance underwater and not get wet." 

  

                                  ---Aqua Boogie (Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop) 

                                  by George Clinton/Parliament  

  There's very little sense of brother and sisterhood generally speaking, and I can trace that back to the efforts of Generation X: The way I see it, The Evolution of Hip-Hop as an art-form did much to sensitize a much larger multi-cultural group to the Black realities in the inner-city communities in large metropolitian areas like New York, Philadelphia, Chicago, Atlanta, etc.; but the evolution was ultimately strictly amongst age groups.  While Whites of X's particular age group might be more sophisticated and less xenophobic, the time has not come yet where most or all of the movers and shakers of American society are Generation  X; which means for some--some illogical, emotional behavior that this group is not fully capable of dealing with appropriately or they may feel "side-swiped out the blue." 

  

    Not enough, commitment, passion or compassion for others who are advocated for the same common cause, is how I would describe the X general approach.  There's too many lone wolves within this generation, trying to get paid individually and not as advancement for us as a people.  From my observation, you would be hard pressed getting this group to gather together in bands for anything.  I mean, the world has always had it's opportunists (and blacks are no exception), but we had very little history with rugged individualism: extended families, hand-me-downs, looking out for your younger brothers and sisters. . .  Among the Africans, the Twa people are among the most socially evolved folks in the world. . .

A long time ago, many members of Generation X eliminated the word, "love" from their references; Now for the first time, concerning Blacks, in the history in this country, we have Blacks entertaining "rugged individualism" in the same manner in which the offspring of those who colonize America possesses such apathy.  It seems as though our people today not only do not see themselves as one people, but they don't think that their situation as a people is precarious and vicarious as it is.  

  As I said earlier, this group is not living from accumulated wisdom of their people; they are making up life as they go along--impromptu, and making decisions on their feet. Generation X does know about Boomers, and have seen them in action, but don't necessarily believe in their methods and frankly, think they are smarter.  That means, they will only believe in a synopsis, when they figure it out.  So this means, by the time a person or sentient-being of Generation X accumulates enough experiences to fully acquaint themselves with the realities of the life he or she's attempting to implement--If he or she should have children before, after or during this interim--they will be irreversibly impacted by this type of philosophy as well; well before they can "right the ship," well before their parents or their children can figure out the right course of action. 

   Take the Hippie Movement and the Flower Children of the sixties; remnants of this movement still exists in food manufacturers like "Shiloh Farms" and the "Farm," as well as the corporate Yuppies and Buppies; who reconsidered their movement and the sins of their fathers and mothers; by concocting the Yuppy business model.  Some say, their brand of politics is worst than their parents. . . Who knows?  But it is based ultimately from older experiences than only their own--I guess we cannot blame them for putting their concepts out there; it's much better than never daring to struggle for the answer. . .

  "What's love got to do with it?"  Plenty!  I was watching a 1965 re-run of the TV series called, "Lost in Space," When I heard Professor John Robinson and Major Don West say, "It's a breathable atmosphere out there.  Don and I are going to investigate [playing the role of protector] and we want you out there with us, Doctor." "Dad, may I go too?"  No Will, I don't think so."  "I don't know why dad won't let me go. . ."  [Mom] "We do need a man around while they're gone Will. . ."  
Depicted here, within this screenplay, are the social and cultural norms for those times: Among those society norms, is a belief in married couples with specific roles defined for men and women.  Chauvinism was very plentiful during the 50s and early 60s.   These roles were soon to be challenged by both men and women in the generations to come (younger Baby Boomers to be precise).  

   The young men of my generation watched how hard many of our mothers worked to have dinner on the table on time, and observe the personal sacrifices these women made to keep us, looking good and the family in tact; We did not want to be as insensitive and chauvinistic as many is our fathers were; But little did we realize that the generations of women to come, were going to have ideas of doing less for the household and for her man; but expect more compensation than any men or society was willing to offer. . .   

    There was social unrest during the sixties.  A lot of protest took place during that time, and a lot of values were questioned and challenged as well.  The 70s was--in affect--"Younger people who put their theories to the test; and generations X and Y are the result. . ."  But the younger Baby Boomers still had much more belief in our past, than Generation X or Y has in Baby Boomers. We were looking to modify a few things--right or few wrongs. . .  With X, it was much less, and Y, almost none at all.

I am not trying to even insinuate that the old ways were perfect, or that their ways are not to be challenged.  Far from it; all things must grow, develop, and advance: All I am saying is everything must be taken under consideration before you go about making things better, otherwise you could be "throwing out the baby with the bathwater."

   Now if you think of the family as a "family" line (as in a line of dialog or sentence), then the concept of growth and development comes into play (like the finishing a sentence); with the various members being contributors.  Your family's legacy in this scenario, is the accomplishments of members within your family; their expertise and their sense of values.  This is also true for a tribe or stock of people. . .  

There is no denying, each people on this earth has a world contribution.  Chinese introduced gun power.  The Native Americans advanced the leather-craft, camping and tracking techniques.  The Twa, Aka, Mbenga, Baka Mbuti [so-called Pygmy] are the most advanced in social equality and family dynamics; yet none of these matter, if you don't have a sense of humanity or a healthy world view of life.  

Without the love of your family, you would have never survived.  Without love, were would you be now?  The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few and the many

contain the collective growth and development of the family.  As long as we been in existence, this has been the case. . .  

It is amazing to me that Generation Y has the same attitude towards their X parents as their X parents have towards my generation of Baby Boomers: We represent a world that Y is trying to move away, but their Y world is produced from ingredients in X.  It maybe a different way to do such things but, in principle, it comes from things that Generation X created or help to create: Like Hip-Hop sampled music from the hottest popular dance and disco tunes.   

Also what remains as an enigma is that in this paradigm or scenario, Y expects their X parents to continue to provide the "status quo" or stable home, stable place to work, stable business, stable economy, stable country, stable government; while he believes this all should be different.  A basic universal law is that in relationships, ratios must be maintained.  Anyone who believes that they continue to take and not give, is immature.  Anyone who does not believing in treating people like they want to be treated; does not and will not know love: Eventually, you have a disgruntled partner.

  This phenomena we are witnessing in America, is a moment in this colony's growth [its' people, its administrators, its' government]: What we, as Black people, seem to often lose sight of is, we didn't land on Plymouth Rock and we were not considered colonists or governors (like William Penn).  We may have lived among the original colonist descendants, but our role was not beside them as their contemporaries; we were seen as different.  After Emancipation (1863), we were reluctantly allowed to live in the same areas as they were, although the sections were segregated; (see segregation) and we did not have the same civil rights.  And though our persistence won the freedom we have, we were slaves in a colony which broke away from their motherland; those are two different positions: The colonist and working class Masons took the country from the King and Royal Masons and we came out of slavery as promised; no frills and all.
They do not treat us as equals; they took their freedom and we bartered for ours: That means someone controls and regulates what you get.  Besides all that, Black people have a different way because we are different from White people--we do things to fit into this society and govern ourselves accordingly--but like Donald Trumps rants; theirs a lot of ideologies they have we don't see eye-to-eye with.  My issue is we choose to emulate them in many of the wrong places: Their behavior is a sinking ship and they are the captains. . . We don't have to go down with it--in our people are different from theirs. . .  Their social diseases do not have to be ours.  We proved that during the sixties. . . 

   Family is what kept us together through Reconstruction.  Our families were destroyed during slavery, but it was through love and respect of each other as man and woman, along with the specialness of the offspring that helped us re-unite.  Slavery took a hodgepodge of tribes, in hopes of making unification difficult for us, but the common suppression and oppression made a people out of us through persecution. That was the force that the Honorable Marcus Mosiah Garvey forged into a diaspora.  And this is same people that our other heroes and freedom fighters are striving to work with; and what is so frustrating is that our people are so eager to put the cringing and fear that persecution brings that they will settle for the illusion of integration or citizenship without equality or true civil rights.  This is truly the culprit: For our ancestors never truly tell us about the evils that befell us during the founding of this nation; happy for the ending of chattel slavery they never talked much about it, and glad segregation was done away with (by the society at large), our parents never discuss it; And with all the "political correctness" of today, you probably would never it still existed. . .  That is, until "Travon Martin," "Fergusson," and "Donald Trump."     

   Care is one of the main ingredients of love.  This, along with respect, duty, and a sense of loyalty, makes up the major nucleus of what love is.  The world has become colder, because its sense of humanity has disintegrated.  It is great to see a change in racism, along the lines of the youth; but humanity has become more generational and less concern about each other as a group of people; with our people suffering the greatest because of the, "Don't talk it" policy.  Whatever America comes up with will never be adequate for us because of the Black/White dynamic: The problem will be solved for X but not for Y. It his not in their interests to solve for Y.

Somehow, it seems like the youth today suffer from Peter Pan Syndrome:  They depend on root structure of society to remain solid--while they believe they should do anything they have to do to make the world they should be.  But once again, I point out, these are the symptoms of a society that Blacks are only somewhat included in--if there is no strings attached on this part of our behavior as part of our condition--we can set about changing it; after all, it is a product of the American condition and posture (the feat is to get our children to know that).

If relationships are to be nurtured and maintained (instead of just being expected to be here regardless to how one behaves) anything to maintain cohesiveness and keeps reliable relations should be sought after by those who rely on the help of others.  However, it does not appear that the millennial generation is aware of this rule. . .  But the lesson could be learned right here.

Peace

C. Be'er la Hai-roi Myers